breathe. in.

"I read you. God, I'm good at it, I'm so spot on.... And I'm high enough from all the waiting, to ride a wave on your inhaling. And I'm high enough from all the waiting, to ride a wave on your inhaling. And I'm high from all the waiting. To ride a wave on your inhaling. Because I love you, no? Can't help but love, you know."

I don't know what to do. My emotions are all over the place.
He thinks it's silly that I'm so let down, but the point is that I thought I was really going to get something this time. Some true affection. I guess it just let me down so much, because it's so motherfucking hard for me to share myself with people. So, when I do, it's like
I'm fucking giving them my world.
Just holding hands.

I don't know how to get over this bullshit, because it's not like I can get over being afraid of people without letting myself go with people.
This is a catch-22 if there ever was one.

Or maybe I'm just tired.
I haven't been able to think straight for a fucking week.

and then, on pletyoffish, it matched me to him.
BULLSHIT.